Chores. No one likes them, right? Especially not kids. If it seems that there is always some problem, drama, or mysterious ailment that pops up at your house every time chores are mentioned, you’re not alone!

So, is it possible to get kids to do their chores without dramas? Or is that just wishful thinking on the part of every parent, everywhere?

Why don’t kids like chores?

Like most adults, children find chores boring. No one likes washing dishes or hanging clothes on the line.

But adults have the maturity to look beyond the immediate task to the more enjoyable activities once the chores are finished, whereas children tend to only see something they don’t want to do. And looking at a rack full of dishes or a pile of washing to be folded can take on monstrous proportions and drain kids of all motivation. As many parents would agree, children often spend far more time and energy trying to avoid the chore than they would expend if they actually did it.

Why should kids do chores?

As parents, it’s sometimes tempting just to do the chores ourselves and avoid the dramas, but this is not helpful to our kids, who need to learn responsibility and discipline as well as life skills. Have you ever met a colleague who avoided certain tasks whenever possible? Or an adult who had meltdowns or dramas whenever they faced something they didn’t want to do?

Chores help kids mature into helpful, responsible adults who can carry their fair share of workplace or home tasks with a good attitude.

So, how do we get kids to do their chores without fussing? Check out these helpful tips:

1. Set age-appropriate chores

While we often think of children’s development best occurring through play, chores also have a role. They teach responsibility and life skills within a framework of household routine, something that cannot be achieved through play.

Children should have age-appropriate chores; toddlers and young children can help with simple tasks such as putting dirty clothes in the hamper or pulling up the covers on their bed, while teens can tackle most tasks that an adult would do.

2. Show them how

Sometimes it’s important to show kids how to do a task, even if it seems simple to a parent. Show them step-by-step and make sure they understand how to do their chores (this helps to avoid excuses such as “but I don’t know how to do it!”)

3. Set the example

If the kids see a parent sitting on the couch watching TV or scrolling through the internet, you can bet that they won’t be motivated to do their chores, either. Set the example by making sure your chores done and show them that play is the reward for getting the work done.

4. Break it up

When chores are too large, they become overwhelming. Try writing out chore sheets for each section of the house (for example, in the kitchen, you might have washing the dishes, drying the

dishes, wiping the benches, putting the dishes away, and so on). Kids can tick off the chores as they are completed, and the job is less daunting.

5. Give them ownership

Some chores can be assigned on a roster system, such as feeding pets or doing the washing up. But others can be free choice. Write a list of chores and allow kids to pick which ones they do and when. This helps to give them ownership of the tasks they choose.

6. Keep chores visible

Get kids involved by having them write up a list of chores or create a tick sheet that they can tick or cross off when chores are complete. Keep the list in a prominent place to help reinforce structure and maintain your home routine.

7. Use positive affirmations

Kids love to hear that you’re pleased with what they’ve done. Offer appreciation and praise for jobs well done, and be specific. Take notice of things they’ve done well and tell them.

8. Turn chores into a game

Make chores fun. You could put on a favourite song and see how many toys you can put away by the time it’s finished. Who will be the winner of the sock-folding competition after five minutes? Set a timer for half an hour and see who can beat it to have their room clean before it goes off. There are many ways you can be creative and make chores fun.

9. Rewards = motivation

Some children respond positively to rewards. Use a rewards chart that can be ticked or have a sticker placed on each day’s completed chores. When a child has earned a certain number of ticks or stickers, they qualify for a reward. It doesn’t have to be something big – staying up later one night or extra screen time, for example. Earning a reward helps a child take ownership of their chores.

10. Make it about family

Chore time can be a great time for the family to spend together and can be followed by a reward that everyone can enjoy (think movie night, favourite dinner, or something else that everyone likes). Kids might not be enthusiastic about the chore, but they will remember the time you spent together as a family, especially if you made the chore fun and included a reward.

By working together, you can get your kids away from screen time and help them learn responsibility, discipline, teamwork, and the satisfaction of a reward for a job well done. Even better, you’re creating good habits for the future and lightening the load for busy parents.

For more handy parenting hints and tips, you can check out my website, www.lifeskills4kids.com.au, where you will find lots of useful resources and advice.

Weighted blankets are becoming more well-known (as well as more widely available) in recent times, with many parents and professionals recommending them for the benefits they offer to children with sensory issues. 

But do they live up to their reputation? Let’s dive in and take a look at the pros and cons. 

Weighted blankets and sensory issues: What’s the hype about?

Children who have sensory issues often struggle with emotional regulation and self-calming. The majority of children with ADHD or autism also have sensory issues, with an array of sensory triggers that make self-soothing or emotional regulation difficult. 

The parents of children who experience these challenges report that for many, using a weighted blanket helps to bring back the calm and assists with self-regulation. Professionals such as occupational therapists also recommend using weighted blankets as a sensory modulation tool for some children.

A word on sensory processing disorder

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) can occur independently of autism and ADHD, but they frequently go together. 

People who do not have SPD can find loud noises, bright lights, or the wrong touch pressure irritating, but that’s the extent of the problem for them. People with SPD find the same things unbearable, to the point that their bodies can react physically, such as breaking out into a sweat or feeling nauseous. 

SPD can also include the opposite end of the scale (hyposensitivity) when people with the disorder fail to perceive sensory stimuli as intensely. An example of this would be touching something hot; the normal response is to pull away quickly as the brain tells the body to avoid further harm. However, a hyposensitive person may not notice the sensation and may suffer more harm as a result. 

Researchers tell us that the cause is a “neurological traffic jam,” meaning that the brain is unable to efficiently process the sensory signals it receives. The information gets jammed or jumbled and results in an inability to process stimuli from the outside world. 

What does the science say?

Scientific studies of the effectiveness of weighted blankets are sparse. There is cautious acceptance of the possible advantages they offer, but more research is needed to quantify the benefits. 

That said, there is plenty of anecdotal evidence from parents and professionals that they are a worthwhile investment for some children with SPD. 

The risks: Some people shouldn’t use them

Weighted blankets are not for everyone as they come with risks. Babies and children under the age of four shouldn’t use them due to the risk of suffocation, overheating, and SIDS. They should only be used by older children or people who can remove them during the night.

People with limited mobility should not use them, along with anyone who is physically weak. Likewise, people with sleeping disorders such as sleep apnoea should avoid them, and they are not safe for people with epilepsy, heart conditions, skin conditions, or circulation problems. 

Do weighted blankets help with anxiety?

Limited research suggests that they do help with anxiety,  and anecdotal evidence from parents and professionals backs up this claim. It appears that they promote calm by increasing feel-good hormones such as dopamine and serotonin, which helps to reduce stress hormones such as cortisol. 

How to choose a weighted blanket

Weighted blankets are filled with “stuffers” to achieve the sense of a firm hug or massage. It’s important to choose a good quality blanket from a reputable supplier to negate the risk of the stuffing coming out and presenting a choking hazard. 

Many professionals recommend a blanket that is around 10% of the user’s body weight to achieve the right touch balance. 

The only way to really know if a weighted blanket will work for your child is to try it. Some children will respond well, and a weighted blanket is a great solution for sleep issues or anxiety, while it doesn’t work at all for others. As frustrating as that might be, each child has individual needs, and it’s often a matter of trial and error to find something that works. 

How to use a weighted blanket

Each child is different and has different touch needs. Some prefer deep pressure touch, while others dislike it. So a weighted blanket is not for every child, but it can help with getting to sleep, calming down while doing something else such as watching TV or reading a book, or self-regulating emotions. 

To use a weighted blanket safely, children should not be left unattended when asleep. The blanket should be removed around twenty minutes after falling asleep, and it should never be pulled up around the child’s face or any higher than the shoulders. 

Is a weighted blanket the right solution for your child?

There are solutions to every problem, and sensory issues in children are no exception. For more information and helpful tips, head over to my website, www.lifeskills4kids.com.au, where you will find lots of resources to help guide you with the right solutions for your child.  

Big emotions and adolescence go together; it’s a fact of life, and we’ve all been through it. But how we get through it is crucial for emotional success as an adult, and that’s where parents and carers play a vital role in helping teens to learn emotional literacy.

What is emotional literacy?

Also known as emotional IQ, emotional literacy is the ability to understand emotions, develop healthy processing strategies, and learn to live with the emotional ups and downs of life without being overwhelmed or shutting down. Many teens struggle with finding a path through the emotional jungle of adolescence, but those that do emerge on the other side with greater empathy and coping skills.

Seeing it from their side

While we might see the stereotypical teenage tantrum or moodiness, we tend to forget that the interactions we have with them make up only a small part of their overall experience. Teens are under pressure from many different angles, such as bullies at school, friendships that come and go, teachers who may not understand them, family drama or conflict, school workload, and other endless causes of stress. All of these things coupled with the hormonal and bodily changes brought about by adolescence can add up to create an intense emotional cocktail that produces big emotions.

The important thing for parents and carers to do is to be curious rather than critical. This means that we need to find out what’s going on and why rather than simply reacting to the behaviour of the moment. The other thing that teens need from us is validation.

Why is validation important?

Being understood and loved anyway is a basic human need. Validation tells a teen, “I understand what you’re going through. I may not love your behaviour, but I love you. Let’s get through this together.”

Aside from helping teens to feel valued, validation can also help to de-escalate an intense emotional moment, and when a trusted adult models validation, it teaches teens how to self-validate. This is an important coping skill when they face emotional situations that may be overwhelming.

Validation begins by meeting teens where they’re at and finding the middle ground between extremes.

Meeting in the middle

Because many teens lack the skills they need to cope with big emotions, they often find themselves at extremes. On one hand, there is the teen who allows their emotions to control their life. This

person may be unable to function in daily life because they are at the mercy of the emotional ups and downs that turn them into a mess.

On the other hand are the teens who “stuff” their emotions inside to function in daily life. This might work temporarily, but over time, those big emotions usually overflow because they have not been processed and dealt with. This can result in harmful or destructive behaviour such as substance abuse or self-injury.

In the middle is a healthy balance, where teens can learn to acknowledge their emotions, process them in healthy ways, and still cope with everyday life.

So, what can parents and carers do to help teens find a healthy middle ground?

Strategies to help teens process big emotions

Try these tips to help your teen deal with their emotions.

1. Talk it out

Teach teens emotional literacy by asking leading questions, talking about real or hypothetical scenarios that involve emotions, or encouraging self-expression through journaling. Talk about how to identify emotions, what they mean, and how to describe them.

2. Validate their feelings

Validate teens’ feelings by saying something such as: “That must be tough. I’m here for you.” Or, “I can see that you’re going through a hard time. You’re feeling sad/angry/hurt right now, and that must be tough.”

It’s important to remember that validation is not agreeing; it is an affirmation of your teen’s experience and their ongoing value in your eyes. It’s also important not to attempt to fix problems, talk them out of their emotions, or avoid dealing with the emotional issues at hand.

3. Teach mindfulness

Mindfulness encourages teens to be in the moment, experience the emotions of the situation, and helps them to identify their feelings. It’s a useful tool for anyone who tends to overreact; taking time to be present can be calming and help them process the emotions of the moment.

It’s important to remind teens that emotions are temporary; they will change, and nothing lasts forever. They will not always feel this way, and being mindful can help with processing and moving on to calmer waters.

4. Pay attention

Giving teens our undivided attention is an important part of the validation process. Put down your phone or stop what you’re doing, make eye contact, and actively listen to what your teen has to say. This communicates that they are important to you and you really care about their experience or what they have to say.

5. Repeat what you’ve heard

Repeat back to your teen what you’ve heard them say. This does two things. It tells your teen that you’re really interested in what they’ve just said (even if they object or give you a hard time!), and it helps you to be sure that you’ve understood their meaning. Good communication always seeks to make certain of the other person’s point of view. If your teen grumbles, just tell them that you’re seeking clarification to be absolutely sure that you understand where they’re coming from. Again, an important piece of the validation puzzle.

6. Encourage expression

Many teens benefit from expression through art, music, writing, or movement. Some of the greatest artists and writers of the world got their start by expressing their emotions through these creative outlets.

Encourage your teen to express themselves creatively, and provide opportunities for them to try new forms of expression.

7. Normalise but don’t minimise

Sometimes, it’s helpful to know that other people have gone through the same experiences. You could say something like, “I understand because I went through something like that, too.”

What is not helpful is minimising a teen’s experience by dismissing it as something that everyone goes through, and therefore it’s not that important. It’s important to the young person even if it is a common experience, so we must be careful not to damage their trust in us by trivialising something that’s a big deal to them.

You can do it!

Parenting a teen is a tough gig, but with the right tools, you can come out the other side intact. More importantly, you can help your teen navigate the stormy waters of adolescence and grow into their full potential. You can do this!

For more hints and tips and handy resources, check out my website, www.lifeskills4kids.com.au.

Test anxiety is real. Just ask any student who’s looking forward to the end of the term with dread. As pressure mounts and the assessments pile up, many students are all too familiar with the feelings of anxiety that accompany them. 

Even good students often feel anxious about their performance in tests and assessments, and while some of this pressure may be self-inflicted, we live in a world where great emphasis is placed on achievements and scores. It’s natural for students to feel pressure when faced with their own and others’ expectations of their performance. 

Parents and carers can help teens manage their anxiety during the end-of-term assessments and exams, and there are things teens can do to help themselves. 

Let’s take a look at some strategies for overcoming test anxiety, but first, a quick look at what it is. 

What is test anxiety?

In its severe or even moderate forms, test anxiety causes a student such distress that they are unable to function normally and may struggle to complete the test at all. It certainly hinders their ability to do their best, and for some, it’s a major problem that compounds with each bad experience at testing time. 

Experts agree that a small amount of test anxiety is healthy, as it motivates us to do our best, but beyond that, it can be debilitating. Severe test anxiety causes our brains to freeze and go into fight-or-flight (or survival) mode, switching off the areas of our brains we need for taking the test. 

So, what can we do about it?

Strategies for teens

• Remember that a single test is not the defining moment of a lifetime. Life will go on whether or not you do well on the test, and it’s helpful to have the big picture in mind before the test. 
• Accept that you are not perfect, nor is perfection required on a test. If you get a question wrong or mess it up somehow, give yourself some grace. 
• Our brains function like a computer at times, with some of the “working memory” taken up by worries. To free up this extra brain capacity before a test, try writing about your feelings and “unload” on paper to clear your mind of worries before the test. 
• Try relaxation exercises before the test. Lie down and focus on relaxing all your muscles, beginning at your feet and working your way up your body. Let your body relax until your limbs feel heavy. At the same time, take deep, slow breaths while you listen to calming music, imagine calming scenes in your mind, or use a guided relaxation exercise. 
• Remind yourself about the purpose of the test. In most cases, t is simply to find out what you’re good at and what you need to practice. Putting it into perspective helps to make it less overwhelming. 
• Put strategies in place ahead of time for what you will do if you don’t know the answer to a question, or if you have multiple choices and you don’t know which to choose. For example, you could guess the question you don’t know rather than leaving it blank, or you could eliminate the answers you know are wrong on a multiple-choice question. 
• Don’t stay up late the night before the test. Get a good rest, avoid screen time right before bed, and eat a healthy breakfast. 
• Start the day with a positive mindset. Listen to uplifting music, read something inspiring, get some exercise, or write down all the things you are grateful for. Imagine the best outcome possible and keep that thought in your mind if you start to become anxious. 
• Avoid last-minute or late-night study. Give your brain the rest it needs to perform at its best during the test.

Tips for parents

• If you’re a parent, be encouraging and don’t place excess emphasis on the outcome of the test. Let your teen know that doing their best is more important than being the best. 
• Help your child or teen prepare for a test by going through some practice tests with them
• Encourage your child or teen to verbalize any worries they have, then tackle them together For example, if your teen is worried about running out of time during the test, help them with a strategy to prioritize the most important questions, or use their watch to allocate a maximum amount of time to each question. 
• Do some calming exercises together. This could include counting to ten while breathing deeply, visualizing a favourite calm place, doing a guided relaxation exercise, or a relaxing hand or foot massage. 
• Acknowledge your teen’s feelings of worry, but encourage them to focus on positive outcomes instead of voicing negative thoughts. Remind your teen that they have worked hard to prepare and might do even better than they think. 

Why over-preparing can make anxiety worse

While good preparation is the key to confidence before an exam, over-preparation can lead to greater anxiety as students try to prepare for every possible question in an exam. Much like overthinking, over-preparing can cause feelings of being overwhelmed and unready despite careful study and preparation. 

At some point, a student needs to take control of the situation and know that they are as ready as possible for the test, then relax and let go of the compulsion to prepare. Stepping out of the anxiety-preparation-overthinking cycle is the best way to have a clear mind and stay relaxed enough to take the test and do their best. 

You can keep anxiety under control

While it’s natural to be anxious at test time, anxiety doesn’t have to be in the driver’s seat. You can tackle it using these tips, or you can head over to my website, www.lifeskills4kids.com.au for more resources and handy tips. 

Storm anxiety in humans is nothing new. Wild weather has been around since the beginning of time, and it’s natural to fear something big and loud that’s out of our control.

Children and adults alike suffer from weather anxiety, but it doesn’t have to cause trauma every time there’s a distant thundery rumble. But before we dive into ways parents and carers can help, it might be useful to look at the signs of anxiety in children.

Anxiety in kids: Surprising signs

Children often don’t display anxiety in the same ways that adults do. They are unable to identify and verbalize their inner discomfort the way an adult can, and the signs of anxiety often look like something else. They can include:

• Restlessness
• Avoidance
• Tantrums
• Crying
• Mysterious aches and pains such as headaches or stomachaches
• Agitation
• Poor focus
• Inattention
• Having overly high expectations of their own performance
• Meltdowns
• Difficulty with transitioning between activities
• Problems with going to sleep

These signs can apply to specific forms of anxiety such as weather anxiety, as well as more general anxiety.

So what is this weather-specific form of anxiety?

What is storm anxiety?

Storm anxiety, also known as astraphobia is a severe, uncontrollable reaction to the threat of a storm. The fear is crippling, even for adults, and can impact daily life during the storm season. Panic attacks are common, as is avoidance of outdoor activities because of the fear of being struck by lightning.

In children, the symptoms can include:

• Uncontrollable crying
• Hiding in closets or under beds
• Clinging to a parent or carer for protection
• An obsessive urge to monitor the weather
• All-over body shaking
• Persistent nightmares

It’s important to realize that a child with this phobia is unable to control it, as are any affected adults. It’s not possible to rationalize, shame or talk them out of it, but some strategies can help them to manage it.

Storm anxiety in children is not unusual

Storm or weather anxiety is especially problematic for kids who are on the autism spectrum or have sensory processing disorders. The sights and sounds of a thunderstorm are overwhelming for these kids and cause severe anxiety which manifests itself as many of the symptoms listed above.

However, storm anxiety is an affliction that anyone can suffer from, so it’s important to recognize it in other children, too.

5 ways to help your child cope during storm season

1. Manage triggers

People with weather anxiety can be triggered even when there’s no storm around. Triggers can include conversations about storms, weather forecasts that include the possibility of storms, loud noises that resemble thunder, and cloudy or rainy weather.

You can manage your child’s exposure to triggers by not listening to weather reports or discussing possible weather events, but if a trigger does occur, it’s important to remain calm, don’t judge or belittle your child’s fear, and use distraction techniques to help them focus on something positive instead of the fear.

A good distraction technique is to play a family game such as charades or a card game during the storm

2. Write down your storm plan

Write down your family’s storm plan. Note what you will do in different scenarios, such as when you’re at home or if you’re outside at the beach or having a picnic. Keep a copy of your storm plan where your child can see it.

You can also make a small card-sized copy of your plan and laminate it. Your child can take it when you go out, and when anxiety strikes, the card will be there as a reminder that there is a plan and that everything will be all right.

3. Help kids conquer fear by decreasing safety behaviours

In some instances, it’s appropriate to help kids conquer their fear by gently leading them to confront it rather than engaging in behaviours that make them feel better but don’t actually do anything to help.

Helping your kids to face their fears might include settling down to read a story about storms while the storm is on, watching a documentary about the weather, reading books about how weather works or watching the rain with an adult.

The important principle here is that children learn to manage uncertainty, so parents and carers need to be supportive and encouraging as children face their fears.

4. Use noise-cancelling headphones

For children who are sensitive to noise or light, it can be helpful to provide a dark “safe place” where they can go, along with a set of noise-cancelling headphones. Encourage your child to take a favourite book or toy to wait out the storm, and be prepared to sit nearby for reassurance.

5. Create a safe environment to talk about it

Often an honest discussion about storms and the fear surrounding them will help kids to face their fears. Make sure that the discussion takes place quietly and calmly without shame or judgment. Be

open and honest about the risks associated with a storm; transparency is important. Avoid telling them that nothing bad will happen as you cannot be sure it won’t.

Give your child the opportunity to ask questions and do your best to answer honestly. Be reassuring but real; children can readily spot a falsehood and it will make it more difficult to trust you in the future.

Storm anxiety need not cripple a child or an adult. If you would like to know more about helping children to manage their anxiety, you can check out my book Teaching Kids to Manage Anxiety: Superstar Practical Strategies

You can feel it happening again. Despite your repeated, reasonable requests, your child is STILL not ready, and you need to leave for your appointment in five minutes or you’ll be late. The anger building inside you is about to vent all over your infuriatingly dreamy child. A torrent of angry words is on the tip of your tongue at the infuriating sight of your child playing on the computer with one sock on, unbrushed hair, and no pants.

But then you stop, take a deep breath, and calmly leave the room.

How is this possible?

Calm begins with self-awareness

If you can relate to the above scenario, don’t worry, you’re not alone! Most parents are familiar with the frustration of children that won’t listen or get upset when big emotions are involved.

The good news is that there are strategies you can use to take control of your own reactions to situations that push your buttons, and it begins with self-awareness.

Self-awareness is critical to restoring calm to a volatile situation because as the adult on the scene, you’re the leader in situations that involve big emotions. Children mirror emotions from trusted adults such as parents, so if you’re upset, it is likely that your child will also become upset or it can cause an escalation if your child is already upset.

It’s important to note that many parental triggers stem from things that happened in the past. If you were shamed or bullied or called names in a particular situation, the memories of the past are often triggered when your child is in a similar situation. Therefore, the problem is usually not the current situation, but memories of the past that cause an inappropriate reaction or an overreaction. This is a big topic and deserves its own post, but it’s worth noting because it can help to recognise where your anger or other negative emotions are coming from.

Signs to watch for

Becoming aware of your own triggers can help you take control before you lose your cool and do or say something you later regret. Check out the list below for some tips to help you spot the warning signs:

• Feelings of anger or rage that are out of proportion to the situation
• An awareness of similar past situations and the feelings associated with them
• Building irritation or tension when your child does something you don’t like
• Feelings of hurt, disappointment, sadness or upset when your child says or does something
• Pent-up feelings of explosive anger ready to erupt
• A desire to physically hurt or control your child
• Feeling that everything is out of control

Why does staying calm matter, anyway?

When a child is struggling with big emotions, is out of control, misbehaving, or otherwise pressing our buttons, it’s critical to remain calm. There are a few reasons for this.

As mentioned, children mirror the emotional states and reactions of trusted adults such as parents. The best way to avoid an escalation of a situation is to remain calm and give the child the chance to process their big emotions without adding big adult emotions into the mix. A child who is already struggling with dysregulation doesn’t need the added pressure of an emotional overreaction from an adult. When an adult is able to stay calm, it helps the child to process the situation and more quickly return to their normal baseline instead of the situation escalating until it gets out of hand.

Children also need to see that it’s possible to handle big emotions without losing control. This is especially the case for children who already struggle with emotional or mental challenges. A calm adult is a good model to follow, and adults benefit too because they don’t say or do something they later regret.

Children have a crucial need to feel safe, especially children with challenges. They need to know that they can trust an adult to stay calm and consistent no matter what else is happening. This gives them a “landing place” where they can rely on stability and safety regardless of the situations around them. Kids who feel safe are not spending all their time and energy dealing with perceived threats or feelings of being unsafe and can learn and function more readily instead. This is a win for everyone, with better behaviour and calm instead of chaos.

Strategies to turn chaos to calm

• Remove yourself from the situation to give yourself some space to calm down
• Go to another location as a “circuit breaker”
• If your child is upset, try taking them to another location while remaining calm
• Remember that feelings are like waves on the shore; they come and go and nothing remains the same
• Movement is a great way for both you and your child to let off steam; try going for a walk, kick a ball around, or go to the park
• Deep breathing is one of the best ways to calm an overwhelmed or emotional body

Check your communication

If you find that you’re getting angry because your child doesn’t listen, try these tips:

• Keep your language and tone of voice neutral
• Make eye contact when speaking to your child so you know they’ve heard
• Ask your child to repeat your words back to you so you know they’ve understood
• Never shame or belittle your child or use unkind names to make yourself feel better or to get back at them
• Reward good behaviour with positive reinforcement such as praise
• Avoid engaging with negative behaviour; it’s best to ignore it
• Establish age-appropriate consequences for misbehaviour (such as the loss of privileges) and be prepared to follow through
• Provide fair warning that there will be consequences and make sure your child understands

You can do this!

As parents, we often fail to give ourselves credit for taking on the world’s hardest job. Just the fact that you’re reading this means that you realise how important your role is and perhaps would like to do things differently. If that’s the case, you’re already amazing!

I’m here to tell you that you can make changes and turn chaos into calm. If you would like to know more about how to do that, you can check out my website, www.lifeskills4kids.com.au for lots of great resources and handy tips. You’ve got this!

Learning disorders are slipping through the cracks, according to a new study published in Nature Reviews Psychology. This is due largely to the education disruptions caused by the Covid-19 pandemic, along with social and economic factors associated with the public health measures used in response.

Students falling behind in main subjects

The study noted that children and young people with specific learning disorders such as dyslexia (reading), dyscalculia (mathematics), and dysgraphia (writing) were falling behind due to inadequate intervention, a lack of access to support services, and inaccurate diagnoses.

Learning disorders often occur in combination with other medical, psychiatric, or neurodevelopmental conditions, and statistics reveal that those diagnosed with a learning disorder are likely to be disadvantaged throughout life.

In fact, adults with a learning disorder are more likely to end up in the criminal justice system, have a higher chance of suffering from mental health problems, and have fewer social and economic opportunities.

Early intervention during childhood is critical, but the pandemic has meant that a lack of accurate diagnoses and limited access to support services is seeing children slipping through the cracks.

Loss of learning gains due to mental health

Another significant factor in the loss of learning gains has been an increase in mental health issues among children and young people. Anxiety and depression have increased among young people since the beginning of the pandemic, and students who were already struggling are experiencing significant learning loss.

School changes in response to the pandemic

As schools have been forced to adapt to remote learning, many have implemented curriculum changes. This means that for many students, the goalposts have shifted and have led to further learning loss.

In terms of diagnosis, the shift in curricula means that it is more difficult to measure and assess a student’s progress in comparison to pre-pandemic standards. Therefore, an accurate diagnosis of learning difficulties is also more difficult to achieve.

Current Diagnostic Criteria

Currently, diagnostic criteria are subject to a narrow range of conditions. A student must meet a specific set of conditions based on social, educational, behavioural and other factors that were established before the pandemic. Covid-19 has caused a seismic shift in every aspect of learning, including psychosocial, economic, educational, and intervention opportunities.

Unfortunately, the biggest impact of these changes is on the students that need help the most.

Misdiagnoses arising from inadequate information

Professionals using the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) may only make a diagnosis when “difficulties in learning and using academic skills must have persisted for at least six

months despite intervention and cannot be accounted for by psychosocial adversity or inadequate instruction.”

The pandemic has furnished plenty of psychosocial adversity and inadequate instruction, giving rise to false negative diagnoses when students actually have sound evidence of learning disabilities.

At the opposite end of the scale, some children may be diagnosed with falsely positive learning disorders when uncertainty surrounds low achievement scores or apparent learning difficulties. This is partly due to the changes in school curriculum whereby normative data can no longer be used to compare pre-pandemic achievement scores.

Diagnostic Criteria Need Modification

The study’s authors argue that the diagnostic criteria used for determining a learning disability are no longer adequate in a post-pandemic space.

Given the huge impact on student learning factors, the criteria need to be both broader and more specific to address the much larger scope of needs faced by students now. Although a good start, the criteria fail to address certain specific aspects of diagnosis, along with excluding many children who fail to fit the narrow definitions.

Urgent reform is needed to bring about prompt interventions and to ensure that no child falls behind.

Postural sway is a natural function of the body’s balance mechanism. It’s one of the key reasons we can stand upright and is crucial for balance and movement.

But what happens when it doesn’t work the way it should? And why are some groups of people more prone to problems with it?

Postural sway: What is it?

The term “postural sway” refers to the tiny movements we make that help to keep us in a stable, upright position. It helps us to maintain our centre of gravity and keep our balance, and we naturally adapt to different stimuli without even noticing.

People with poor balance and coordination experience greater postural sway; the tiny movements that keep us upright are more noticeable for these people.

One way we can experience postural sway is to close our eyes while standing and notice the small movements our bodies make to keep us standing upright. These small movements are constantly adjusting our position to ensure we don’t fall over.

How your centre of gravity works

The body’s centre of gravity is the point where its mass is the most concentrated ie the torso rather than the limbs. It is a hypothetical point that changes as you move around because different movements distribute your weight to different areas. When you’re standing upright with your arms by your sides, your centre of gravity is located in the area where your pelvis and spine meet.

As we move around, our bodies automatically adjust to align us with our centre of gravity. This prevents us from falling or overbalancing and helps us with coordination.

Postural sway and the nervous system: When things are out of balance

The nervous system is a crucial piece of the puzzle when postural sway doesn’t work the way it should. Our bodies usually respond automatically to sensory input, and it’s important to remember that in this context, sensory input is not just from the five senses. It also involves the brain and the entire nervous system.

The brain receives important information from three main sensory systems, known collectively as the somatosensory systems. They are:

• The intoreceptive awareness system
• This system provides internal communication between your brain and your body about how your body feels.
• The vestibular system
• This system is located in your inner ear and helps with balance and coordination
• The proprioception system

Your awareness of the space around your body and its location and movement depends on this system for information

When these senses work together, it’s known as sensory integration. Problems arise when these systems don’t communicate with each other way they should and we struggle with recognizing, interpreting or regulating our responses to the input that comes from the somatosensory system.

Why are kids with ADHD more at risk?

Around 5% of children have ADHD and of these, about 50% have problems with motor function, muscle control, or coordination. Because ADHD affects the sensory system, children with this diagnosis struggle to adapt to sensory input, and greater postural sway is one of the issues many kids face.

Children with ADHD are often seen as “fidgety” or unable to keep still because their bodies crave movement to help them adapt to or learn about the world around them. These children often benefit from physical activity programs that focus on balance training and motor control.

What does anxiety do to postural sway?

Mental health and our physical experience of our external environment are closely linked. A child with anxiety is experiencing a physiological response due to distress over the unknown. When we feel that we cannot trust our bodies or feel unsafe, we respond with a disorganised approach both internally and externally. Greater postural sway is the result of a physiological response to anxiety.

Children with anxiety feel safer when they have more input, such as visual input, to maintain their connection with the world around them. This helps them to maintain their balance, along with expanding their support base and postural sway.

Being uncertain about how their bodies will move or respond leads many children to disengage with physical or social activities. This is due to the fear of an accident or injury, or judgment by their peers. They can also experience heightened anxiety in these situations.

Identifying excessive postural sway

Gross motor skills begin developing early in life, and it’s important to also develop somatosensory awareness at a young age to combat excessive postural sway later in life. Some of the signs of poor postural control or stability include:

• Difficulty maintaining balance
• Struggles with motor activities that require strength (swimming, walking, riding a bike etc)
• Propping up the head with the hand while writing
• Fidgeting and struggling to pay attention
• Slumping or slouching while sitting or standing upright
• Leaning on objects or people
• Difficulty with fine motor skills such as drawing or using scissors
• Inability to undertake self-care activities such as dressing or doing up buttons

When to see a health professional

If your child struggles with any of the things listed above, it might be time to seek professional help. Various health professionals can help, but it’s important to find one who takes an integrative approach and understands the connection between motor or balance issues and the brain. Some health professionals who might be able to help include:

• An occupational therapist
• A paediatrician
• Primary care provider
• Other fitness specialists

In many cases, addressing postural sway takes a multidisciplinary approach with more than one health care professional involved.

It’s all about balance

Balance is a crucial aspect of our lives and one that most of us take for granted.

If your child has anxiety or ADHD or you’ve noticed that they struggle with balance or motor activities, it’s best to talk to a health care professional who can recommend exercises or therapies that will help.

If you need professional advice or you have any questions, please email us at debbie@lifeskills4kids.com.au