Episode 57 – Recovery After the Floods 

Goal-setting is the common theme of January as New Year’s resolutions are made. Things start out well at the beginning of the month, but by the end of the month, many of our grand plans have fallen in a heap and we give up on the idea of achieving our goals. 

So, what are some ways that you can make goals and keep them? How can you help your child to achieve some sustainable goals when it comes to life skills and learning?

Why is goal-setting important? 

Researchers believe that most people who set goals fail to achieve them for a few simple reasons. This includes a fear of failure, a lack of commitment, and not clearly identifying the “why” of a goal. For others, it’s poor or non-existent planning for reaching the goal, a lack of belief that they can do it, or limited motivation to do what it takes. 

However, it’s still important to set goals, because failure is certain if you never try! Goals must be: 

• Achievable

If a goal seems too hard to achieve or you don’t have the time or resources it will take, you will likely lose the motivation to persist. Instead of focusing on a huge goal, try breaking it into smaller goals and focus on those. 

• Specific

You must know exactly what the result of your goal-setting will be. When your goal is crystal-clear, your mind paints a picture of the thing that you want, and it will subconsciously help you to bring it into reality. 

• Measurable

How will you measure your progress? Is your goal something tangible that you can put into a chart with numbers? Or is it something you need to measure another way? Decide how you will measure your progress before you start. 

• Realistic

Having big dreams is a wonderful thing and no one should be discouraged from following their bright ideas. 

That said, it’s also important to ensure that your goals can be achieved, or you will lose motivation or become frustrated and give up. 

• Timed

Goals need a timeframe to come to fruition, otherwise, they become an open-ended dream that never gets accomplished. Is the timeframe for your goals achievable? Do you have the time it will take to make them happen?

Kids and goals: It’s important for them, too!

Kids need goals as much as adults do. They need to experience the satisfaction that goes with accomplishing a new skill or mastering a tricky problem. Even family life will benefit from some goals to make it work better. 

Working with your therapist can help you identify some family goals or things for your child to aim for. Just for fun, I thought I would share my favourites (because lots of families experience challenges in these areas, so if this is you, you’re not alone!).

 

Top 5 goals for families and kids

Here are some of the ideas that might work for your family:

1. Help your child dress faster

Lots of kids dawdle with dressing in the morning, which can be extremely frustrating for a parent when everyone needs to get out the door on time. 

Try turning it into a game instead. Set a timer and get your kids to race the timer. If they do, they can put a sticker on a reward chart, and at the end of the month, if they have consistently raced the timer, they get a small reward. The same idea can be applied to other areas your child struggles with. 

The goal is to be consistent for a month and establish a new habit. 

2. Get everyone in bed earlier

Bedtimes are something many families struggle with, but it’s worth setting a goal to establish a regular bedtime. The whole family will benefit as everything runs more smoothly. 

Set a goal for bedtime to be at a certain time, then put a timeframe on the things that must happen first, such as dinner, baths, storytime etc. Be consistent, and you’ll eventually establish a new habit. It’s worth persisting past the initial resistance you might encounter because in the end, everyone will accept the new routine and family life will flow more smoothly. 

3. Set goals for downtime

Most of us are too busy and too stressed to spend quality family time together. We’re always on the go, heading to one event or another. 

But downtime as a family is so important to the health and wellbeing of each individual and the family unit as a whole. The best way to set goals for family togetherness is to treat your time as you would a financial budget. Make sure there’s room in your “time budget” to spend at least one evening a week together, or a day together on the weekend, or whatever works best for your family. 

4. Re-evaluate screen time

Do you feel as if everyone in the family is constantly looking at a screen? Are you concerned about the effect of too much screen time on the kids? It’s a well-researched fact that too much screen time can interfere with sleep, focus, and the quality of family life. 

Try cutting back on screen time by allocating times and places for use. For example, make family night a screen-free zone. Set a timer for younger children to have a set amount of screen time, or make a rule that there are no devices in bedrooms so you can keep an eye on what your kids are doing online. 

5. Plan some stress relief

The world we live in is stressful, and a good way to deal with it is to plan some activities that are restful or relaxing. If you are a parent, it’s so important to care for yourself, because the rest of the family needs you in good shape to function well. 

It’s a good idea to put aside half an hour each day to do something that feeds your own soul. Write a list of things you’d like to do, then make it a goal to tick them off your list. Want to get fit, lose some weight, write a novel, or learn a new skill? Put it on your list, then work out the steps you need to accomplish your goal. 

Be flexible, patient, and persistent

Goals require persistence, patience, and flexibility. Don’t give up if you don’t get there right away or circumstances seem stacked against you. Keep going one step at a time, and explore other ways of reaching your goal if you hit roadblocks. Be patient with yourself and your kids, and remember that no one is good at something new right away. 

As always, if you’d like to know more handy hints and tips to help your kids learn new skills or make family life run smoother, head over to my website. You’ve got this!

School anxiety after home learning is to be expected. For many students, it has been a long time since they were last in a classroom, and with the uncertainty of lockdowns and the world in general, many children and young people have anxiety about returning to the classroom.

This can be especially worrying for children whose siblings may be starting on a different date as schools stagger the return to school.

So, what does school anxiety look like, and how can you help your child to manage it?

Sometimes labelled as school refusal

Children who cannot face school because of their anxiety issues are sometimes labelled as school refusers, which is not helpful and doesn’t address the root cause of the problem. Authorities may also place pressure on parents to force kids to attend school, which adds to their stress and anxiety.

But blame and an authoritarian approach are not the best solutions to this problem. We’ll get to that. Let’s just take a moment to consider what school anxiety looks like.

• Internalising, becoming withdrawn
• Distress over normal events or morning chores
• Meltdowns
• Easily distracted, can’t focus
• Tearfulness
• Freezing at the door
• Quiet
• Mystery aches and pains
• Holding it together at school but negative behaviour at home
• Disruptive or destructive behaviour in the classroom
• Hiding
• Refusal to attend school no matter what

In the case of a student whose siblings are starting on a different date after a long period of home learning, school anxiety can be even worse, especially if they usually go to school together or see each other throughout the day. The student at school may feel more alone or vulnerable than usual, while the one still at home may have a lot of worries and fears for the sibling at school and for their own return to school on their allocated date.

So, how can parents ease the transition to school when students may be starting at different times?

Tips to help kids manage school anxiety when start dates are different

When one child is resuming face-to-face learning and others are still at home, it can be daunting and create anxiety. Try these tips to help with school anxiety and their worries around different starting dates.

Visual reminders of starting dates

Many families find it helpful to keep a calendar of the start dates for school or other important dates. You can have a calendar for the whole family to use and a separate one for each child. When your child starts to feel anxious about what’s going to happen, you can remind them to look at the calendar. Teach them to do this as a way of managing their anxiety.

Timetables

Another handy tool for anxious children left at home is knowing the timetable of a sibling who has returned to school. When they start to get anxious or worried about the sibling, you can show them the timetable and talk about what their sibling might be doing at that moment.

Focus on the known

Children often focus on the fear that the unknown brings. Will things still be the same at school? Will the classroom look the same? Will they still have the same desk and chair?

Rather than worrying about the unknown, help your child to focus on the things they do know. Look at the calendar with the start date on it and talk about returning to school on that date. Talk about the teacher if you’re sure it will be the same person. Help your child to remember the school routine, such as class time and playtime. Remind them that lots of the things that were familiar at school will be the same.

Look for the positives

Rather than getting caught in a cycle of worry and fear, look for the positives in returning to school. There is always something positive in any situation, and many things to be thankful for when you look for them.

Encourage your child to think of the things that are good about school. Will they be seeing a special friend again? Do they enjoy playing at recess? Is there a subject they like, such as art or music?

Help your child focus on the good things about school and enjoy the benefits of positive feelings instead of stress and worry.

Provide noise alleviation

Sometimes excessive noise causes school anxiety, especially for children with autism or sensory processing disorder.

If noise is the reason a child is anxious, you can send them to school with ear protection to minimise the noise. It’s best to discuss this with the teachers first so they can help your child manage while you’re not there.

Make home a calming experience

When a child comes home after a long day of school experiences, it’s essential to help them relax. Spend some time out in nature together. Take the dog for a walk or do some gardening. Go for a bike ride or a swim to get their muscles moving. Play with a pet, or listen to calming music together.

Creating calming experiences will look different for each family, but it’s important to have something in place so that your child can relax after school.

Set clear expectations of school boundaries and routines

Talk about school expectations before classes resume. Remind your child of the school routine and discuss school boundaries, if appropriate. Each school will have different rules, for example, no throwing sand at other children in the sandpit. No hitting, no swearing, or whatever other rules apply.

A reminder of the rules can be helpful because sometimes children break the rules without thinking. They then fear getting into trouble, so setting clear expectations around rules and behaviour can help alleviate anxiety.

Play games for distraction

Sometimes distractions are just what you need to prevent anxiety-induced meltdowns or tearfulness. Play an “I Spy” game on the way to school, or pick out favourite local landmarks. Try an imagination game about who might live in an unusual house, or think of something quirky such as what the animals in the zoo might say when they see all the people. Use your imagination and have some fun.

Get moving

Movement is so important for mood and wellbeing, and doing it with your child can make you both feel good. Set aside a regular time to get moving. You could put on a dance DVD and do all the moves together, go for a walk outside in the fresh air, play at the park, or ride your bikes.

Provide a safe place for your child to unload their worries and fears

One of the most important things you can do it provide a safe space where your child can unload their worries and fears without judgment, criciticism, or blame. Encourage your child to talk about their day and the things that went well and the things that didn’t. Talk about how they might be able to do things differently next time (it helps to build resilience), and think of ways to solve problems they might be facing.

School anxiety doesn’t have to control your life

School anxiety might be crippling, but it doesn’t have to control your life or your child’s. Try some of the strategies above, be understanding and encouraging, and help your child to thrive in spite of the challenges.

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Kids with eco-anxiety are a natural by-product of the many natural disasters and catastrophes that we have seen in the recent past. Children can see that we live in a changing world, and it is scary for them to think about what the earth might look like in the future.

As parents, carers and educators, what can we do to help children overcome their anxiety while making a positive contribution for the future?

 

Talk it over honestly

Acknowledging that we live in a changing world gives kids the opportunity to express their thoughts and fears about the future. During these conversations, it’s important to redirect strong negative emotions into positive thoughts and actions, including any strong feelings we might have about the topic.

When trying to help children and teens manage anxiety for the future, it’s helpful to focus on things we can do or things other people have accomplished to help the earth instead of what might go wrong.

Try to focus on solutions rather than blame

It’s easy to get caught up in the blame game and natural to want to find a “baddie” to fight. There are plenty of potential “baddies” to focus on, but it’s healthier to focus on solutions and actions as blame rarely solves problems.

An anxious child will feel better by contributing to solutions rather than experiencing the negative emotions that blame often causes.

Treat opposite views respectfully and try to work together

It’s important to discuss what you might do if you meet someone who has an opposing viewpoint to you. How do you treat that person?

Respect is a positive action underpinned by a powerful positive emotion. Even when people disagree, they can still treat each other with respect. Kids with eco-anxiety will benefit from listening to others’ points of view, learning how to respectfully state their own point of view, and finding ways to work together.

Spend time in nature

Spending time in nature is a wonderful anxiety antidote. Spend as much time as you can outdoors in the fresh air and sunshine and help your kids to see that it is still a beautiful world even as we work to protect it.

Don’t forget, nature is resilient, and it can heal and recover when given the right conditions. Kids need to see the things that are right with nature as well as the problems. Focusing on the positives helps them to manage anxiety.

Create a picture board of things you can do to help

Getting creative can help a child feel that they are taking action in a positive way. Create a picture board or scrapbook of ways you can do your part to help the earth. Include easy activities such as cutting down on plastic waste, recycling and reusing household goods as much as possible, planting trees or plants, growing your own food, and talking to friends about what they can do to help.

You can set dates for specific activities, so if a child starts to feel anxious or overwhelmed, they can go to the board and look at what they can do to help and when that will happen.

Limit news exposure

Much of what we hear on the news is negative, and this can feed into the anxiety cycle of kids with eco-anxiety. As we’ve witnessed drought, floods, fires, more floods, and other environmental problems, it has a cumulative effect on mental health for everyone, not just children with anxiety.

One of the ways to combat this is to limit exposure to the news and other media that has a negative message. It’s good to be informed, but too much exposure can simply lead to fear and anxiety.

Focus instead on the actions you can take to do your part and refuse to allow fear and negative stories to take over.

Have fun together

Who said saving the earth had to be boring? Some fun ways of engaging in environmental activities could include watching a nature documentary, working on a citizen science project (the CSIRO has lots of interesting citizen science projects you can get involved in), creating your own nature documentary, reading stories about nature together, or working on a nature puzzle.

You can also seek out environmentally sustainable suppliers of food and goods, such as farmers’ markets, organic nurseries, and local manufacturers. It’s a fulfilling activity to know that you’ve supported a sustainable local business rather than a large company.

Volunteer

Volunteering is a wonderful way to feel good about yourself and the contributions you are making to the world. There are plenty of earth-friendly organisations that welcome volunteers, and kids benefit by undertaking activities that help to take their minds off their worries for a while. Allowing children to experience the joy of giving without expecting anything in return is one of the most important contributions parents and carers can make towards positive feelings and good mental health.

Kids with eco-anxiety can see the positives with the right help

When adults intentionally redirect kids’ emotions and energy into positive thoughts and activities, it helps with the feelings of fear and worries over the future. When kids feel that they are making a difference in the world, it’s a good feeling. And they aren’t the only ones. Adults can benefit too.

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Teachers, childcare workers and other professionals have long known that some children cannot tolerate experiences that other children don’t even notice. Certain sounds, a noisy environment, some visual elements or even being touched can trigger a meltdown that is exhausting for everyone. In addition, a child that is constantly triggered by various sensory experiences is not learning as they should because they are constantly in fight-or-flight mode. This has caused many professionals a great deal of concern but it wasn’t until recently that we began to understand more about why these children need sensory-friendly classrooms to achieve the best learning outcomes.

Brain Research Reveals Clues

Children with Sensory Processing Disorder share many characteristics with those on the autism spectrum. In fact, there has long been a debate about whether SPD should be classified under the umbrella of autism, and professional opinion has remained divided until recent research revealed some distinct differences in brain structure.

Comparing Brain Structure in Kids with Autism and SPD

Elysa Marco and associates, researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, conducted a study that compared the brain structures of boys with an autism diagnosis, those with a sensory processing disorder diagnosis and those that were developing normally. They found a quantifiable difference between the boys with an SPD diagnosis when compared to those with typical development, proving that the disorder is rooted in biological factors. The questions then turned to how the brains of these children compared with those that have other neurodevelopmental disorders such as autism.

Sensory Similarities between Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder

The research examined the structural connectivity in areas of the brain that process sensory stimuli and found decreased connectivity in these areas in the boys with autism as well as those with SPD. However, there was a divergence when it came to the areas of the brain responsible for social-emotional processing. The boys with autism showed decreased connectivity in these areas, while those with SPD did not. Another crucial difference between the two diagnoses was the lack of repetitive behaviours in the SPD group, along with other distinctive indicators of autism.

It’s not just Theory

This finding translates into the classroom as well. Children with SPD actually want social and emotional connections but may find the sensory stimulation of connection overwhelming. Children with autism have less interest in social and emotional connections and may struggle to form friendships or interact in socially acceptable ways with peers.

How a Sensory-Friendly Classroom Fills the Gap

As many teachers and professionals know, children with SPD and autism struggle to cope with sensory overload or specific sensory triggers. When teachers and professionals get the balance right, the classroom can become a safe place where triggers are less likely to occur. When these kids feel safe, they can relax and begin to learn rather than being in a constant state of fight-or-flight, living in fear of a new experience or a reaction to one.

Tips for Creating Sensory-Friendly Classrooms

As teachers, parents and professionals know, children with sensory processing issues do best when they know what to expect and their environment is comfortable. Keep these tips in mind to create a sensory-friendly classroom that is a safe space for students that need extra help in this area.

1. Create daily routines and stick to them
2. Use visual cues to help students know what is coming next
3. Allow time for sensory breaks to prevent sensory overwhelm
4. Work with students to establish a signal when they are feeling overwhelmed
5. Have a plan in place to manage situations before they turn into meltdowns
6. Make sure that the environment is comfortable with lighting levels, temperature and air quality
7. Create “quiet zones” and allow students to retreat to these if they are feeling overwhelmed
8. Provide headphones to block out classroom noise when students are sensitive
9. Allow students to use alternative forms of seating
10. Provide advance warning using visuals or other cues when changes of routine occur or a one-off event is coming up, such as a fire drill or excursion

The Next Step

As parents and professionals, we want all our kids to thrive in the classroom, regardless of the hurdles they face. Creating sensory-friendly classrooms doesn’t need to be difficult or costly and it can make a huge difference to the kids that struggle with sensory issues. If you would like to know more about what you can do to make sensory-friendly classrooms, check out my classroom detox program. Or you can contact us here if you have questions. We would love to hear from you!

If you have  had a bad start  to your day or things have gone wrong during the week, you may be familiar with the symptoms of anxiety creeping up on you. You might feel tight in the chest or experience a panicky feeling. Or you might feel scared, tense or irritated; anxiety manifests itself in lots of ways. Regardless of how it affects you, you might be tempted to calm and soothe yourself by reaching for comfort foods even though you know you probably shouldn’t. So is it possible to eat well when you’re anxious? How do you care for yourself when you experience anxiety?

Why is it Hard to Eat Well When You’re Anxious?

When we are not stressed or anxious, it’s easier to focus on making healthy food choices and looking after our bodies. But when we begin to suffer from anxiety, it’s much harder to think about choosing a bottle of water or veggies for a snack instead of something gooey, crunchy, delicious and oh-so-bad for us. Why is it so hard to eat well when you’re anxious?

The Sensory Pleasure of Eating

Researchers have tracked down the reason we enjoy some foods so much that they become addictive. There are two main factors: The sensation of eating the food and the nutritional makeup of our favourite snack.
The sensation of eating the food relates to the pleasure we get from the taste, the texture or feeling of eating it, and the smell. The nutrient makeup of the food refers to the blend of carbohydrates, fats and proteins in the food. Junk food tricks the brain into thinking that it has found a good source of energy but because we don’t get full easily, we crave more of it. Junk food has the perfect combination of taste, texture and dynamic contrast to get us hooked and coming back for more.

Anxiety Creates Cravings

When we get stressed or anxious, our brains release chemicals such as opiates and neuropeptide Y. These chemicals cause a response similar to the cravings we get from eating foods that are high in carbohydrates and fats so the most natural response in the world is to reach for the junk food. We crave high-fat or sugar-dense comfort foods because our brains are undergoing a stress response that creates cravings for these things. It’s hard to eat well when you’re anxious because your brain chemistry is working against your knowledge that you can make better choices.

You can Choose to Eat Well when You’re Anxious

Although it might be more difficult to eat well when you’re anxious, you can be prepared ahead of time, especially if you know that certain situations or periods of time tend to make you more anxious. You can stock up on healthy snacks, prepare healthy meals in advance and make a decision ahead of time that the next time anxiety strikes, you will be ready to make good choices.

Foods that Help with Anxiety

Some people find that certain foods help their moods and anxiety levels. These foods provide many of the vital nutrients for good brain function and can boost feelings of calmness and well-being. Instead of reaching for the junk food when anxiety strikes, why not try some of these foods?

• Fatty fish

These are high in omega-3, which is crucial for regulating neurotransmitters and also helps to reduce inflammation.

• Egg Yolks

Egg yolks are a good source of vitamin D, protein and tryptophan. This amino acid helps to create serotonin, a mood-balancing chemical.

• Pumpkin Seeds

Pumpkin seeds are full of zinc and potassium, both important minerals for brain health.

• Brazil Nuts

Brazil nuts are rich in selenium, which helps to improve moods by reducing inflammation in the body.

• Dark Chocolate

Although there is still some debate over whether dark chocolate really does help with anxiety or moods, we do know that it is high in tryptophan and magnesium, both important for brain function.

Adults Need Care, Too!

Although your focus might be on caring for a child or young person with anxiety, it’s important not to neglect yourself. Anxiety is a real issue for adults as well as kids, but parents often push it aside to focus on their child’s needs. I want to challenge you today to take a deep breath, step back for a moment, and focus on caring for your own health and well-being. It’s possible to eat well when you’re anxious and in the future, you won’t be sorry that you have taken care of yourself.

In years gone by, not much research was available on the ways that environment affects children with special needs. These children were often placed into regular classrooms and expected to conform to the parameters of the majority. Sensory-friendly classrooms were a thing of the future and kids with special sensory needs received little, if any, help.  Sensory-supported learning was unheard of and many children with special learning requirements were simply unable to access environments that supported good learning outcomes. Sadly, many slipped through the cracks or didn’t achieve their full potential.
These days, there is a lot more knowledge around the needs of children with autism spectrum disorders, ADHD, anxiety disorders, learning disorders, sensory processing disorder and other issues that affect a child’s ability to learn. In response, educators and other professionals are seeing the value in creating sensory-friendly learning environments that enable children with special needs to integrate more readily into regular classrooms.

Three Major Principles that Impact Learning Outcomes

Recent studies have shown three crucial areas that impact learning outcomes for children with special sensory needs. These studies looked at the broad functioning of the brain and the way it resolves sensory input. From there, researchers were able to determine three major principles that govern the way individuals relate to the natural, personal and task environments that surround them in any given space. These principles cover the following areas:

Naturalness

This refers to areas of physical comfort such as lighting, temperature, acoustics, and air quality levels. Sensory-sensitive children have a lower threshold for tolerating classrooms that fail to adequately address these areas. The research discovered that when these areas are adequately addressed to meet the needs of sensory-sensitive kids, learning outcomes improved substantially (1).

Individualization

This principle covers how well a classroom is adapted to a child’s point of view. Studies found that children experience better learning outcomes when they are able to take control of aspects of their environment to suit their needs (2). Therefore, ownership and flexibility are important elements of a sensory-friendly classroom. Also important is connection, referring to the layout, design and friendliness of the connections between spaces, such as corridors and walkways (3).

Level of Stimulation

The level of stimulation refers primarily to the visual stimulation in a classroom environment and this can be broken down into two sub-categories: Colour and Complexity. Getting the colour right aids children with moods, mental clarity and energy levels (4), while managing complexity helps with distraction, behaviour and focus (5).

10 Parameters to Include in Sensory-Friendly Classroom Design

So, in summary, under the three principles outlined above, there are 10 major parameters that influence sensory experience in the classroom:

1. Light
2. Sound
3. Air Quality
4. Links to Nature
5. Temperature
6. Ownership
7. Flexibility
8. Connection
9. Complexity
10. Colour

Simple Tips to Create a Sensory-Friendly Classroom

• Minimize visual displays to reduce distraction
• Allow “movement breaks” every 20-40 minutes for the children that need extra stimulation
• Create “quiet spaces” that children can retreat to if noise becomes overwhelming (this can help to avoid meltdowns)
• Allow children that are sensitive to touch to be in positions where they will not be bumped or touched by others
• Pay attention to seating and ensure that each child has a chair that is a comfortable fit. Consider alternative seating styles for kids with special sensory needs
• Use visuals to help children know what’s going to happen next and to reinforce routine
• Try to determine which students will benefit from any available natural light and which ones do better with dimmer light and arrange seating accordingly
• Take steps to minimize noise where possible

There are many things you can do to create a sensory-friendly classroom. Lots of these things are simple and inexpensive to implement but can make a substantial difference in learning outcomes. To find out more, check out my classroom detox program.
References:
(1) Barrett P. S., Davies F., Zhang Y., Barrett L. (2015). The impact of classroom design on pupils’ learning: Final results of a holistic, multi-level analysis. Building and Environment, 89, 118-133. doi:10.1016/j.buildenv.2015.02.013
(2) Higgins S., Hall E., Wall K., Woolner P., McCaughey C. (2005). The impact of school environments: A literature review. London, England: Design Council
(3) Alexander C., Ishikawa S., Silverstein M. (1977). A pattern language. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
(4) Englebrecht K. (2003). The impact of color on learning.
(5)Fisher A., Godwin K., Seltman H. (2014). Visual environment, attention allocation, and learning in young children: When too much of a good thing may be bad. Psychological Science, 25, 1362-1370. doi:10.1177/0956797614533801

At Life Skills 4 Kids, we recognize that anxiety has no age limit and kids are not exempt from all the feelings and symptoms that adults experience. Of course, we realize that they are usually unable to articulate exactly what is causing them to feel the way they do, so an anxious child will tell us that something is wrong through behaviour, body language or related symptoms.

Why a Stomach Ache is a Common Symptom of Anxiety

When kids are feeling anxious, they will often complain of a stomach ache. The feelings are real; they really do have pain in their tummies. This is because the enteric nervous system resides in the gastrointestinal tract and is closely linked with the brain. In fact, it is often called the second brain.
So when kids complain of a tummy ache when they are feeling anxious, it is because the chemicals and hormones associated with anxiety are causing a response in their tummies.

An Anxious Child isn’t Making it Up

If you have ruled out illness or health issues that are causing your child’s  tummy aches, there’s a good chance that you are dealing with anxiety. It might be tempting to think that your child is telling stories or trying to get attention, but this is not usually the case. (And parents are pretty good at getting to the truth anyway!).
Your child is most likely experiencing anxiety that is manifesting itself in physical symptoms such as a stomach ache, or occasionally, a headache or other aches or pains.

Is it Anxiety or Physical Illness?

There are some clues that a stomach ache is anxiety-related, rather than being caused by illness or health issues. Take note of when your child complains about tummy pain – is it at a regular time, such as before school or at night before bed?
If it is happening regularly, your child is telling you that a particular event or experience is causing feelings of anxiety. There may also be other underlying concerns around the event or experience that are causing the feelings of fear or worry, such as being afraid of the dark or feeling alone at bedtime.

Other Anxiety Symptoms

There are other clues to watch for if you believe you might have an anxious child:

• Inability to focus
• Agitation or restlessness
• Wanting to avoid situations, events or experiences
• Tantrums
• Crying
• Not wanting to go to school
• Meltdowns about minor or unrelated matters
• Having high expectations of their own performance at sports or school work
• Difficulty adjusting to transitions between school and other activities
• Difficulty settling down to sleep at night

How to Help Your Anxious Child

When your child complains of a tummy ache or you observe other anxiety-related symptoms, it’s important to approach the issue in the right way. Check out these tips for ways to help your child manage anxiety.

1. Encourage Your Child to Face Fear

Avoiding an experience or event may bring short-term peace but its better to teach your anxious child to face their fears. Anxious or worried feelings become bigger and more overwhelming if they are allowed to rule choices and behaviour. By facing them, your child will experience the positive feelings of a “win” as well as knowing that they can do something that was previously scary or impossible. When fears are starved, they shrink.

2. Stay Calm Yourself

It’s important that your child sees that you are calm when they are experiencing fear or worry. A calm adult is like a rock in an ocean of fear to an anxious child. They can reason that everything is going to be ok because Mum/Dad isn’t worried or fearful.

3. Use Positive Reinforcement

When your child makes progress, be there to cheer them on. Take notice of the small victories and praise them for being brave and facing their fears. A little encouragement can go a long way. At the same time, avoid punishment for failures or reacting negatively as this can make anxiety issues worse. Try praise for taking small steps or rewards for hitting goals instead.

4. Teach Your Child Relaxation Techniques

Kids respond well to relaxation techniques such as mindfulness or breathing exercises that help to calm or ground them. You can do these together and you will both benefit! One easy exercise is to breathe in while counting to five, then breathe out while counting to five. You can find lots of great resources for mindfulness and relaxation on YouTube or other websites. One of my personal favourites is Cosmic Kids’ Yoga.

5. Pay Attention to Your Child’s Feelings

It’s important to acknowledge your child’s feelings because it helps them to recognize what’s going on. It also helps to empower them to take charge of solutions to the problem when they feel listened to and understood. Talk to your child about what’s going on and why they feel the way they do. Try to get to the bottom of feelings of worry or a stomach ache. Identifying the issues behind the scene will go a long way to helping both you and your child come up with strategies to manage them.
While an anxious child and a stomach ache go hand in hand, there are ways to manage anxiety so that it doesn’t hinder everyday life. Check out my new book for practical strategies that can help kids overcome this debilitating issue and thrive in every situation.