Screen Time for Children

By Deb Hopper

This article was published in the Great Health Guide digital magazine – GreatHealthGuide.com.au


Screen time for children…  It’s one of those tricky topics to deal with from day to day. There are such mixed messages in the media about how much screen time is appropriate, healthy or even just OK for children to have.
Screen time has some valid and handy functions for both children and adults, so let’s not have all the thumbs down against screen time. The key is to have our eyes open, have clear minds and be open to how society seems to being pulled along and sucked into more and more screen time.
It’s time to take stock and think clearly about WHY we should bother to think about this issue. Oh, and just for the record, we are talking about managing screen time for both children AND adults. It’s time to look up from the screen and look in the mirror and be honest, for our children’s sake.

7 Reasons Why We Should Bother Managing Screen Time-

1. Life is busy, and screens are a time waster.

Have you ever drifted into Facebook, Pinterest, eBay land, then taken a look at the time and realised 5, 12, 20 minutes has disappeared?  Life is busy, and we are fritting away so much time being distracted on our screens.

2. Social disconnection threatens our families.

We can be on the couch swapping attention between our hand held screens and the TV for hours and not connect with our family in the same room. We can enter the house after work/ school and not have any fights or disagreements, but also no relationship building conversations. Both of these are leading to rapid social disconnection in our families.

3. Time spent on screens is time not being active.

We are fighting the battle of the bulge and obesity is threatening all ages. It’s time to swap screen time for a walk around the block, perhaps without our phones or pod casts. Give your brain some time to stop and be.

4. Contrary to our habits, screen time is not relaxing and stress reducing.

Zoning out with a screen may feel like relief after the pressures of the day, but if you really want to relax and rejuvenate your mind, take a look outside, watch the sunset, go for a walk on the beach or stare at a fish tank.

5. Too much screen time is linked to difficulties in getting to sleep.

In a study of 10,000 16 to 19-year-olds, researchers in Norway found that the longer a young person spent looking at an electronic screen before going to bed, the worse quality sleep they were likely to have.  Having 1 – 2 screen free hours before bed supports a better sleep. http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/too-much-exposure-to-smartphone-screens-ruins-your-sleep-study-shows-10019185.html

6. Screen time opens up the possibility of bullying for children and teenagers.

It’s much easier to post negative opinions on social media than to bully someone face to face, but the effects on children can be just as devastating.

7. As adults stuck to our screens, we need to think hard of the example we are teaching our children.

What do children think of our distraction on screens?  Often they are frustrated as they can’t get the attention they crave (and deserve). Are they seeing screen times as a coping strategy for adults?  Will they copy our example and be sucked into even more social disconnect?
Which of the above 7 reasons speaks closest to your heart? Are these risks enough motivation for you to consider changing your screen time habits? Now, if you are reading this on a screen, how long have you got until bed time?  Is it time to disconnect, have a cuppa and reflect on what might be?
Deb Hopper is passionate about helping children achieve their potential. As a practicing Occupational Therapist at Life Skills 4 Kids in Forster on the NSW Mid North Coast she understands the day to day struggles that children, parents and teachers face.
She is passionate about empowering parents and teachers to understand emotional regulation and practical strategies to help children and is often called upon for media comment. Deb draws on over 18 years’ experience as an Occupational Therapist working in mental health and paediatrics.
Deb is the co-author of the CD Sensory Songs for Tots, and author of the soon to be released book Helping Children Soar in a Post Digital World: Teaching Kids to Stress Less. She also presents keynote presentations and workshops. For a chapter of her upcoming new book, join our newsletter at www.lifeskills4kids.com.au  To book an appointment call 02 6555 9877.
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Helping Kids with Homework (Part 1)

Written by Deb Hopper

Published in

Printable PDF Available Below

Helping children of all ages settle down and focus on homework after school or on weekends can seem like an impossible task. On week days, children have been concentrating, taking in information for most of the school day and settling back into school work is often the last thing they are wanting to do. Weekends are just for fun.

HELP TO CREATE A LEARNING SPACE

Many teachers these days are providing creative projects such as making up maths games, making recycled craft or asking children to draw a map of their local area, which can be much more fun than traditional homework.
However, whether home work is reading, spelling, maths and traditional bookwork or more creative projects, often the homework battle can feel like a black cloud looming.

HERE ARE A FEW IDEAS THAT MAY ASSIST YOUR CHILD WHEN DOING HOMEWORK

1. Children can experience stress when thinking about starting homework.
Just as adults, if the perceived challenges outweigh the child’s capacity or energy, they can experience stress and become overwhelmed. A fun way to get started is to create a grid of say nine spaces, where the homework for the week (or day for older children) is divided into nine different smaller tasks, which are written onto the grid. The simple act of seeing what homework needs to be completed, can help to reduce some of the stress and not be overwhelmed. It helps the child to pick out one or two activities to start with e.g. writing down spelling words.
Once this is completed, it is crossed out on the grid, so they can see progress, like playing tic-tac-toe. Often after they finish a couple of easy tasks, the challenge of the game kicks in and they want to keep going.
2. Support the sensory needs of your child.
It is also important to support the sensory needs of a child, in preparation for doing homework. After sitting in class for most of the day, it is really important to encourage them to move and ‘fill up’ their nervous system before starting homework. This will help reduce any feelings of being overwhelmed, help them feel grounded, refreshed and help them to be able to focus and complete their homework quicker.
3. When does your child have high energy?
In addition, consider the times of the day when your child has high energy. Are they a night owl or a morning person? If your child is extremely tired in the afternoon/evening, maybe doing reading practice in bed, first thing in the morning, or setting the alarm for an older child for 5.30am, may help them complete assignments in their strength zones.
4. When is the best time for ‘brain work’?
Just as adults are aware of times that are best for ‘brain work’, we can observe our children, suggest and gently guide them to trial different strategies. We have built our own learning strategies over many years. Rather than forcing the issue of homework with our children, let’s support them in looking for their peak performance times and suggest activities and routines that support their
learning and homework practice time.
In the next issue of GHGTM, I will discuss the top six ways to help a child settle into doing their homework with less tears.

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Download your Printable PDF here: SUB 402-SEP Helping Kids with Homework Part 1

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Deb Hopper… Occupational Therapist, author, workshop presenter. Deb is passionate about empowering parents and educators to understand the underlying reasons of why children struggle with behaviour, self-esteem and sensory processing difficulties. A practicing Occupational Therapist, she understands the daily struggles that children, parents and teachers face.
Deb is the co-author of the CD Sensory Songs for Tots, and author of Reducing Meltdowns and Improving Concentration: The Just Right Kids Technique. The Just Right Kids Technique Model can be downloaded at: http://www.lifeskills4kids.com.au/just-right-kids-model/
You can contact Deb on 02 6555 9877. She is available for clinic and phone/ Skype consultations.

When Kids Play Too Rough

Written by Deb Hopper

Published in

 Great Health Guide articles available in Audio:

Learning to play and interact with other children or adults is one of the most complex skills that children learn. Play teaches children about developing physical skills and co-ordination, developing cognitive and thinking conception, solving problems and enhancing memory skills. It develops language skills through playing and interacting with other children and adults and it develops social skills including learning to cooperate, negotiate, taking turns and playing by the rules. These are not only important for conversing and playing at home but will also develop these skills at school when making friends and learning in the classroom.
However, some kids play too rough. This may be a general pattern of play which is disruptive to other siblings or family members most of the time, or it could be an irregular concern when they get frustrated or feel left out at school.
There are three main reasons why kids play too rough:
1. Difficulty with registering sensory information during play by not noticing or registering how heavy they are playing with toys or how firmly they are touching or bumping other children.
2. Not fully understanding the cognitive or thinking demands of play. This might include not understanding the rules of play or finding it hard to problem solve in the middle of play.
3. Not understanding social rules including turn taking, recognising minute cues of facial expressions and reactions and knowing how to change their actions quickly enough in play.
Children can learn how to play, ‘too light’, ‘just right’ or ‘too rough’.

Here are three strategies for teaching children how not to play too rough:

1. Help children to get a real physical sense, or a kinaesthetic experience of what it feels like to play OK or play too roughly.
To give them this experience, we need to take them through activities that show them what it feels like to be ‘too light’, ‘just right’ or ‘too rough’ in play.
This might look like:

• having an arm wrestle with your child, pretend wrestling with ‘floppy or weak’ arms and ‘really strong’ arms.
• colouring in ‘really softly’, ‘too heavily’ and just right.
• holding a pencil ‘too loosely’, ‘too tightly’ and just right.

We need to give children a sense ‘in their body’ of examples of what it looks and feels like to play too roughly.
2. Use a visual such as a traffic light system to give your child feedback that they are playing too rough.

• Green would mean that they are playing well.
• Yellow is the warning that play is getting a little rough and they need to be careful they don’t get too rough.
• Red is that play is too rough and that they need to slow and calm down, take a break and perhaps do something else.

Print out a picture of a traffic light, put it on your fridge or somewhere handy to look at and start using statements like, ‘your play is in the yellow warning zone, you need to play gentler’, or ‘your play is in the red zone you need to be less rough, or perhaps it’s time to stop and take a break’.
3. Write a social story about playing well and not too rough.
This can be short and simple such as:

‘I love to play with my little brother. We have lots of fun. Sometimes I get too excited and can touch him too heavily which might hurt him. This is not the best. If I touch him too firmly, I might be touching too hard, and mum might say I’m in the red zone. To play safely, I can take a break and come back later and play nicely in the green zone.’

Add some photos of your children or clip art of kids playing to illustrate the story. Write or print it out and staple it into a book to read at bed time to reinforce the best way of playing and not playing too roughly.
At times, we may feel at our wits end when children are playing too roughly. However, using a combined approach, through their body (touch and kinaesthetic senses) and through their cognitive understanding (external visual tools e.g. traffic light or social picture stories), you can really help children to learn to play without being too rough.

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Download your Printable PDF here: SUB 351-JUL When Kids Play Too Rough

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Deb Hopper… Occupational Therapist, author, workshop presenter. Deb is passionate about empowering parents and educators to understand the underlying reasons of why children struggle with behaviour, self-esteem and sensory processing difficulties. A practicing Occupational Therapist, she understands the daily struggles that children, parents and teachers face.
Deb is the co-author of the CD Sensory Songs for Tots, and author of Reducing Meltdowns and Improving Concentration: The Just Right Kids Technique. The Just Right Kids Technique Model can be downloaded at: http://www.lifeskills4kids.com.au/just-right-kids-model/
You can contact Deb on 02 6555 9877. She is available for clinic and phone/ Skype consultations.

When Kids Dont Listen

Written by Deb Hopper

Published in

Great Health Guide articles available in Audio:

How many parents complain that their kids don’t listen to what they are saying?
Kids not listening can be very frustrating for parents from day to day. There are many reasons why kids struggle to listen or pretend not to listen and many ways to reduce this frustration between parents and children.
Children might not respond in conversation for three main reasons:
1. They could be distracted especially by screens, TV, iPad, video game etc;
2. They have hearing or auditory processing difficulties; and
3. They are exhibiting a passive aggressive reaction or hidden anger towards the speaker, or anxiety about something happening.

Here are five tips for understanding and working with children when they are not listening or who pretend not to hear when you talk to them:

1. Decode the behaviour – distraction?
One of the first steps in understanding why a child may be pretending not to hear is to understand WHY they appear not to be listening. Are they simply distracted by watching TV, playing a game on the iPad, or reading a book? Is their attention elsewhere? Often, distraction is the reason why children appear not to respond to questions or instructions.
Tip: Before speaking, make sure you have a child’s active attention. Ask them to look at you, turn off the distraction if needed and ask them to repeat your question back to you, or at least say ‘OK Mum/Dad’.
2. Decode the behaviour – passive aggressive reaction?
Many children develop passive aggressive behaviours, which are one way for them to exert control over their environment (including people) when they may be feeling angry or anxious. This might look like when you call to him, he ignores you and makes you come upstairs to talk to him. It’s a way for children to have control over others, perhaps when they are feeling out of control or anxious. Kids not listening may be a sign that they aren’t coping and they are asking for help.
Tip: Sit and have a chat about what’s happening for them. Is there an assignment he is worried about or is she having difficulties with friends at school?
3. Make sure children have good boundaries.
Children feel safer when they have clear boundaries and expectations for behaviour at home and school. Have clear expectations for jobs around the house (even for toddlers). Ensure they understand the expectations for homework and even the tone of voice they use to speak to you. Children need to understand the rules of what is expected and the consequences of what will happen if these goals are not met. Children not listening may not have a good sense of boundaries (and therefore not feel safe) within themselves and their roles at home and/or school. Be gentle and loving, yet firm. If you talk about consequences stay firm in following through.
4. Keep instructions simple.
Many children, especially if they are young or have underlying learning difficulties, have trouble following too many directions at once. Break down your instructions or requests into smaller steps. Rather than asking them to put their clothes in their room, brush their teeth and put their lunch in their bag, ask them to do one activity at a time. If they understand and remember what to do, they won’t be overwhelmed by the request (sometimes resulting in feeling overwhelmed or anxious) and are more likely to respond verbally to your request. Kids not listening can sometimes be the brain being overwhelmed by instructions and shutting down, making it look like they are not listening.
Open-ended questions are invitations to say more and allow invitations for back and forth communication.
5. Monitor your tone of voice and ask open ended questions.
If your child is not listening, reduce distractions and communicate again with them being mindful that your voice is not raising in frustration or increasing in volume. Keep a calm and gentle voice. Once you have their attention ask open-ended questions rather than yes or no answer questions. Open-ended questions are invitations to say more and allows children to share their ideas and feelings while providing the opportunity for back and forth communication.
Children who are not listening or who appear to pretend not to hear can be very frustrating for both the adult and the child involved. The adult wants to communicate and must both understand where the child is at while keeping the routine moving. The child may be bothered by being interrupted from their favourite TV show or being interrupted in the middle of a game. This is very understandable.
The above five tips can help to increase understanding for adults about dynamics and reasons why kids may struggle to listen but also provides some easy to implement strategies for making life easier.

Help # 1 Child When #2 Arrives

Written by Deb Hopper

Published in

 Great Health Guide articles available in Audio:

Printable PDF Available Below.

Having a new baby arriving is a time of anticipation and expectation, but for older siblings, it can be a time of being unsettled. This can be seen in the older child being more clingy, worried, having meltdowns or ‘behaviour’ difficulties. These emotional or behaviour difficulties are often signs that your older child is struggling with
the idea of adjusting to having a new little person in the house. They may not be sure of their role or position in the family or they may feel threatened that they won’t get as much ‘mummy or daddy time’ or attention as they are used to.
There are some key strategies that parents and grandparents can help implement before the new baby arrives to assist in the transition of a new baby arriving and the mental and practical adjustments that happen.
Here are five key ideas to help make the transition to having a newborn arrive home so that your toddler or older child is happier.
1. Involve your older child in the preparation before the birth. Help them to choose clothing or toys at the shop, involve them in looking through catalogues, looking at prams or equipment and talk to them in simple terms about the upcoming changes. For example, if you need to buy a new pram to accommodate the baby and toddler, talk to your toddler about why you need a new pram. This might sound like, ‘We are looking for a new pram because when we go to the shop, we need to have a place for the baby to sleep and a place for you to sit. Look, the baby would lie down here and here is your very special new seat!’
2. If your toddler will be moving to a bigger bed to make way for the baby, plan the transition to the ‘big bed’ a couple of months before the baby arrives. Make a big deal about moving to a big bed and celebrate this. Making the transition beforehand is important so that your toddler does not feel like the baby is pushing them out of their
safe space/bed as soon as they arrive home.
4. Buy your toddler a doll or teddy. This can be a special present from the new baby. Perhaps wrap it up nicely and the baby can give it to them when they come to meet him or her. You can then use the doll or teddy for your
toddler to look after when you are busy with the baby. They can pretend to feed, change their nappy and look after them.

5. Keep your toddler busy and involved in little jobs that are helpful to you. This could include asking them to pass a cloth or wrap when you are feeding or dressing, helping to bath the baby, folding up baby clothes or carrying dirty clothes from the bathroom to the laundry. Toddlers love to please and love to be helpful, so keep them busy with little age appropriate jobs and praise them for their help.
Having a newborn and a toddler is quite a daunting phase and is a steep learning curve for parents as well as older children. Explain new things to your child, keep a good weekly structure or routine with outings and make little pockets of time to connect regularly with your older child.

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Download your Printable PDF here: SUB 341-JUN Help #1 child when #2 arrives

Learning with Games at Home

Written by Deb Hopper

Published in

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Children naturally love to play games. Play is the ‘occupation’ of children and is how they learn the best. Even though this comes naturally for children, in the past few years TV and other screens (tablet/phone games) have stolen large portions of time previously spent on play and learning activities.
Sometimes these games and activities, requiring active participation by the child, are thought of as being ‘boring’ or even too challenging as they do require a little more concentration and social interaction for children than the immediate feedback that screen play gives.
How do we encourage children to get back to basics and ‘play’ in a super duper fun way? Here are five fun games to try. Encourage their use as they will improve learning and social skills giving you and your child some special
time together.
1.   Create an obstacle course.
This can be tailored to any age and can be inside, on a deck, veranda or outside. The process of creating the obstacle course develops the skills of ‘ideation’ or coming up with new ideas or variations
on general and spatial planning. So many children struggle to come up with new ideas these days and having to create something from scratch encourages their imagination and creativity. Also, making up a course with
pillows, chairs or tables inside or planks of wood, rope or chairs outside encourages the use of our gross motor strength or coordination.
2.   Pictionary is a great game for encouraging turn taking, creativity and communication.
It can be fun yet very challenging for some children who find writing or drawing difficult. This gives some assistance and breaking down the task can be helpful and supportive.
3.   Pulleys.
Rigging up some pulleys and rope in the back yard, over a tree branch, or off a deck is guaranteed endless fun and problem solving. Children just love hooking up buckets of sand, water or food to pull into the cubby house or onto the deck. Let them go for it and then come out with morning tea that they need to figure out how to ‘hoist’ it over a ‘river’ into the cubby house.
4.   Papier Mache.
This is a great multi-sensory craft for making fun and creative structures, such as a piñata with contents inside that can then be dried, painted and then used at a party. Tearing the paper encourages fine
motor manipulation skills, dipping into glue and sticking is a very sensory task and painting and decorating is just fun and creative.
5.   Crafts and origami. 
Craft and origami are fun ways of having some time with your children, as well as time where they can be set up for more independent play while you get dinner. Set it up on the island bench or dinner table so you can chat to your children while they do the crafts and to be a resource when they need help. These are great for refining cutting, drawing, pencil grip and fine motor manipulation skills. Origami is also fantastic for creating logic and problem solving difficulties and for following written instructions for older children. Children learn the most when they are relaxed and having fun which involved less ‘in screen’ time. Keep things simple, aim for cheap, reusable and recyclable materials and encourage them to let their imaginations go wild!

Helping Hyperactive and Busy Kids

Written by Deb Hopper

Published in

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Every child has a different base energy level and this can be impacted from day to day depending on how much sleep they had, what is happening at home or school or if their routine has been disrupted and if they are feeling anxious or worried about things. But some children are generally much busier at home and/or school than other children and when this starts to impact on what they need to do, it may start to be a concern for their learning or behavior. Many children who are hyperactive and busy, often don’t understand what it feels like in their body to be calm, relaxed or slowed down.
Here are 5 top tips for helping hyperactive and busy children:
1. Reflect back to children how busy you think they might be. Using words such as ‘fast’, ‘slow’ or ‘just right’ might be helpful in children to understand that their bodies do change. Many children who might be labelled as hyperactive or ‘fast’, often don’t know what it ‘feels like’ to be relaxed, slow or chilled out.
2. Using a visual such as the ‘Just Right Kids Technique’ model can be very helpful for teaching children about how hyperactive, or ‘fast’ they are going. This model shown below has been used successfully with many children to help them to understand the difference between when they are going fast, slow or just right, as well as teasing out how they feel – their emotional
side. Ask them how they are feeling, get them to move the arrow to the right colour or area for how they are feeling. This helps to connect and reinforce to them how they are feeling and makes this learning quicker.
3. If your child is struggling with being able to sit and concentrate and listen in class or for homework, encourage them to be involved in some movement and resistance (muscle) activities before school or homework times. Jump on the trampoline, bounce on a ball, walk or ride to school are great movement activities.

4. To help ground a child before learning activities, try some muscle or resistance activities. Resistance activities might include wall or floor push ups, walking out over a ball, pushing their hands together before starting work, or chair push-ups sitting in their seat.
5. For busy and hyperactive children, using a combination of movement and muscle activities (body or sensory based) AND thinking/cognitive strategies (such as the Just Right Kids Technique model) gives them the most control over their thoughts.
In addition, getting them to write a plan of attack such as a list of what homework needs to be done, breaking it down into a small section for each day’s homework that week, or creating a mind map helps them develop a plan, engages their frontal lobe (thinking part) of the brain and engages them in goal directed action that can help them to override the underlying ‘hyperactivity’ or difficulty in concentration.
So, next time your child is struggling with concentration, get them to:
1. stop
2. think – how fast is my body going (and look at the model)
3. think – what can I do to help my body get in the ‘just right’ zone
4. think – what is the plan or the steps for the plan
5. OK – let’s do it!
For more information on helping hyperactive or busy kids, you can click here for more info.

Improving Fine Motor Skills

Written by Deb Hopper

Published in

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CLICK HERE FOR THE AUDIO VERSION:

Sometimes it’s the little things in life that make the biggest difference and sometimes the little things in life can be the most difficult. Many children struggle with fine motor skills, or the ability to use their fingers to get the little things done. This might include doing up buttons, zips, doing up shoe laces, playing with favourite construction toys such as Lego, holding cutlery, or helping to pour themselves a drink for example.
There are three main reasons why children might find these day to day things difficult to do. These are hand and body strength, dexterity and finger co-ordination and the ability to plan what they need to do. Practicing these skills at home can be easy, fun and low cost to do. If your child continues to struggle, please contact your occupational therapist, preschool or school teacher for some more ideas.
Here are 5 top tips for making the little movements easier.
1.Sometimes a child finds it hard to control fine finger movements needed in things such as drawing or Lego because they don’t have a stable body base.
We need to have strong core postural muscles and good control of big arm movements, before we can do small movement tasks such as drawing. Body strengthening activities such as swimming, trampolining, or lying on a skate board and pushing themselves around helps children to create a strong postural core, arms and legs, to act as a solid base for finger based co-ordination tasks.
2. Sometimes children also need to strengthen their hands and arm muscles so they have the strength to open milk containers, lunch boxes or the toothpaste.
Just like adults go to the gym to strengthen our big muscles, children can also strengthen their hand muscles. For younger children, pull out the playdoh and roll snakes, pinch patterns and make snails. For older kids, they need extra resistance so try plasticine or a soft to medium strength theraputty, for hand strengthening. Or, think outside the box and get them to ‘paint the fence’. This activity is cheap and the large arm movements needed will help strengthen their arms. For strengthening little fingers, buy a cheap water sprayer and give them the job of watering the pot plants. It’s a great strengthening activity and will help you too!
3. If your child is struggling with a daily task, such as tying his or her shoelaces, help to give them the feeling of success.
Backward chaining is a great way to build confidence in fine motor skills. This means that you complete most of the task and then they do the last part. You say, ‘Well done!’ and build up their self-esteem. The next time, you do one less step and coach them in what to do, to complete the last two steps, giving praise at the end. Continue until they can do the whole task.
4. Play the ‘tell you what to do game’. This game is great for kids who struggle with planning or motor planning.
Start with bigger movements while they learn the rules of the game, for example, jumping. Get them to tell you what
their body is going to do when they do the activity, e.g. ‘jump’. For example, for jumping you need to bend your knees, put your bottom backwards, push up, jump and land. Once they get used to ‘telling’ you how to do bigger
tasks, get them to tell you how they do things with their fingers. For example, ask them to tell you how they will pick up their glass of milk at breakfast time. This could be ‘reach out, open my hand, pick up cup, move towards
my mouth, take a drink, put it back on table’. Connecting thoughts of planning words into action can help create links in the brain to make fine motor tasks easier.
5. You don’t need to buy lots of fancy toys with bells and whistles to improve motor skills. The best way to learn is to use and practise with containers, jars, lunch boxes, opening cereal boxes or helping to pack the dishwasher. If you child is finding a particular task difficult, say ‘Stop, think, breathe, what is your plan?’ Once we can stop and get a plan together, it can help to overcome feelings and responses of frustration, makes learning the task easier and creates best feedback pathways to the brain for the next level of learning.
So next time your child is struggling with something fiddly, ‘Stop, think, breathe, ask what their plan is’. Think about what fun and low cost games you can do with them, or set up for them, to make it easier next time.